DashHouse.com

The Blog of Darryl Dash

This blog is about how Jesus changes everything. He changes:

Our relationship with God

Our relationship with others

Our vocations - how we live and work in this world

Our ministries

This blog exists to explore some of the ways that Jesus changes everything. It provides resources and articles that will help you think about the ways that Jesus can change every part of your life.

The Lord himself invites you to a conference concerning your immediate and endless happiness, and He would not have done this if He did not mean well toward you. Do not refuse the Lord Jesus who knocks at your door; for He knocks with a hand which was nailed to the tree for such as you are. Since His only and sole object is your good, incline your ear and come to Him. Hearken diligently, and let the good word sink into your soul. (C.H. Spurgeon, All of Grace)

Filtering by Category: Books

I Need to Be Reminded Often

Every once in a while, I need to pick up Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission and reread the first chapter to remind myself what is true about our context.

Let me confess: I am prone to think about effective ministry in all the wrong categories. I tend to forget an important truth: that “the Christian gospel has moved from the center of our culture to the margins” (p.13). As I look around, I still see churches using familiar methods, and it seems to "work." I forget that those methods are reaching a declining number of people. “People can be attracted to a church by what it offers,” says Jim Petersen, “but . .  . increase of this sort isn’t church growth at all. It’s just a reshuffling of the same fifty-two cards” (p.18). I agree with the thesis of the authors:

We want to suggest that most of our current dominant models of church and evangelism are Christendom models. This needs to change as we move to a post-Christendom and post-Christian context. (p.23)

So here are some quotes I need to read that give you a taste of why I need to read this chapter regularly to remind myself of what is now true. If they’re right, and I think they are, then the implications are profound.

We have the opportunity to become communities focused on Jesus and his mission…What is fast disappearing is the opportunity to reach notionally religious people through church activities.  (p.13)

Merely opening our doors each Sunday is no longer sufficient. Offering a good product is not enough. (p.15)

What is clear is that great swathes of America will not be reached through Sunday morning services. (p.15)

Seventy percent of the United Kingdom population have no intention of ever attending a church service. That means new styles of worship will not reach them. That means fresh expressions of church will not reach them. That means Alpha and Christianity Explored evangelistic courses will not reach them. That means guest services will not reach them. That means churches meeting in pubs will not reach them. That means toddler churches meeting at the end of the school day will not reach them. The vast majority of unchurched and de-churched people would not turn to the church even if faced with difficult personal circumstances or in the event of national tragedies. It is not a question of “improving the product” of church meetings and evangelistic events. It means reaching people apart from meetings and events. (p.17)

We cannot claim to be faithfully proclaiming the gospel to the lost through our Sunday preaching when most of the lost do not attend church. (p.27)

We cannot rely on business as usual. It cannot mean more of the same. It must involve a qualitative change rather than simply a quantitative change. (p.27)

I know these things. I just forget them as I default to old mental models. It's why I find this chapter helpful every time I read it.

Rethinking Failure

Some quotes from the chapter on failure in Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration that apply to life and ministry as well as business:

Be careful! when you don’t face problems. “It’s really strange,” I told him. “We haven’t had a single big problem on this film.” Many people would have been happy with this news. Not Steve [Jobs]. “Watch out,” he said. “That’s a dangerous place to be.” (Kindle Locations 1697-1699)

Reframe mistakes. “Mistakes aren’t a necessary evil. They aren’t evil at all. They are an inevitable consequence of doing something new (and, as such, should be seen as valuable; without them, we’d have no originality).” (Kindle Locations 1717-1718)

Fail early, fail fast. Quoting Andrew Stanton: “fail early and fail fast” and “be wrong as fast as you can.” (Kindle Location 1723)

Avoiding failure is failure. “Failure is a manifestation of learning and exploration. If you aren’t experiencing failure, then you are making a far worse mistake: You are being driven by the desire to avoid it. And, for leaders especially, this strategy— trying to avoid failure by out-thinking it— dooms you to fail.” (Kindle Locations 1733-1735)

Leaders set the pace. “If we as leaders can talk about our mistakes and our part in them, then we make it safe for others.” (Kindle Locations 1757-1758).

Playing it safe leads to death. "Being too risk-averse causes many companies to stop innovating and to reject new ideas, which is the first step on the path to irrelevance…To be a truly creative company, you must start things that might fail." (Kindle Locations 1870-1873).

Make it less expensive to fail. “To be sure, failure can be expensive. Making a bad product or suffering a major public setback damages your company’s reputation and, often, your employees’ morale. So we try to make it less expensive to fail, thereby taking some of the onus off it.” (Kindle Locations 1822-1824).

People-Pleasing Pastors: An Interview with Charles Stone

Charles Stone is pastor of West Park Baptist Church in London, Ontario. He's also author of a new book called People-Pleasing Pastors: Avoiding the Pitfalls of Approval-Motivated Leadership. I plan on reviewing this book soon.

I'm grateful that Charles was willing to answer some of my questions.

You found that a large majority of pastors have people-pleasing tendencies. Why do you think this is such an issue among pastors?

I think God gives pastors a heart for people. After all, we are called shepherds. The very nature of our being in the so called “people business” makes it easy be drawn into people pleasing patterns. However, it’s important to differentiate between healthy people pleasing (loving and caring for others which is pleasing) and the unhealthy kind that I write about in the book.

What made you tackle this topic? Did you struggle with this issue yourself?

When I entered ministry I was so eager to please that I began to develop subtle pleaser tendencies on top of the tendencies I took from my childhood. It took years of uneasiness and frustration before I began to realize my tendencies. I wondered if I were alone in my struggle, since so little was written on the subject. So I began to put my thoughts together on this subject. I then surveyed over 2200 pastors and found out that I wasn’t alone. 79% of pastors in one survey and 91% of pastors in another survey indicated that people pleasing affected their leadership at some level.

You tap into some helpful resources, such as family systems theory and mindfulness. What would you say to pastors who may be suspicious of these approaches?

I believe family systems, created in the 60’s and 70’s by a psychiatrist, Dr. Murray Bowen mirrors in many ways a biblical view of describing how we handle our emotions. And mindfulness, the practice of being present in the moment and being aware of our current thoughts, was modeled by Jesus’ life and teaching. He was always present in the moment. In Matthew 6 he used common illustrations of flowers and birds to make people aware of being in the moment. Brother Lawrence who wrote The Practice of the Presence of God provides a good example of a believer who practiced this moment-by-moment awareness of the Lord.

People-pleasing tendencies can be so deep-rooted that some may think it's impossible to change. Why are you hopeful that change is possible?

Jesus is in the business of changing our lives. He promises everything we need for life and godliness. The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12.2 that we must renew our minds. As we do that in the power of the Holy Spirit, He will change our unhealthy pleaser tendencies.

Some churches may be threatened if a pastor stops leading in a people-pleasing way. How can pastors help their churches understand that moving away from people-pleasing is healthy for both pastors and the church?

Deeply rooted people pleasing tendencies can actually normalize these patterns in a church. If those cases, I encourage pastors to have their leadership read the book together. I include a team study guide at the end that can help them apply. I’d also encourage such pastors to teach some messages about people pleasing because the issue affects everyone, not just those in ministry.

Thanks, Charles!

One of the Best Books You Haven't Read

On Boxing Day in 2007, I ordered a book for $9.35 (!) called The Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller. I remember devouring it in the early days of 2008. It felt like I was seeing how the gospel changes a man and his ministry. It had a profound impact on my own understanding of the gospel.

Since then I've whittled down my physical library from almost 3,000 books to around 100 or so, and this book is still with me. I honestly think it would be one of the last volumes I'd give up.

If you are in ministry, and want an example of someone who has come to the end of what he could accomplish on his own strength, and has been completely transformed by an encounter with Christ, then you need to read this book. Jack Miller has made a marked impact on many people who know and respect, and he does a better job of pointing us to Jesus than almost anyone I know.

It's not a book that gets a lot of attention, and that's a shame. Get it. Read it. Allow it to shape your view of life and ministry. It's a book to which I return often.

You can read my review, or better yet, just go and buy it. It's still not much more than what I paid.