How to Cope with Not Attending The Gospel Coalition Conference

Tomorrow marks the start of The Gospel Coalition Conference in Chicago. Everyone important – I mean everyone – is going to be there. The talent pool is so deep that they put D.A. Carson on announcements. That’s how awesome this conference is.

You’re not going? Take heart. There are definite benefits to not attending:

• You don’t face the imminent danger of D.A. Carson rapping.
• You won’t have to choose between the Acts 29 and PCA dress codes. Seriously, how do you pack for these things?
• You won’t face the difficult decision when packing of choosing between your ESV Study Bible (calfskin edition) or your iPad with the ESV Study Bible app.
• You won’t be crushed if you meet one of your Reformed heros and it turns out he’s never read your blog.
• You won’t get caught in a mad fight between those who believe in small pox inoculation (à la Jonathan Edwards) and those who don’t.
• You won’t have to worry about committing a major faux pas, like asking, “Can you tell me where the Bill Hybels workshop is begin held?”
• You won’t have to line up for dinner, or for John Piper’s autograph for that matter.
• You – yes, you – can help repopulate the doctrinally correct part of the earth if those pacifistic Anabaptists lay siege to the conference, and things go downhill from there.

And by the way, you’re still important even if you’re not attending. Kind of. So soldier on, even though you’re not attending. There can only be so much awesomeness in one place. And don’t forget that you can watch the plenary sessions live here.