Encouragement: The Unexpected Power of Building Each Other Up

Some books deserve to be forgotten, or to be read for a short time. Others — fewer than you’d think — deserve to be read for decades. One book that deserves continued attention is Encouragement: The Unexpected Power of Building Each Other Up by Larry Crabb and Dan Allender. It was first written in 1984, and I read it as a seminary student around 1990. I can’t think of a more timely book for today.

Understanding Encouragement

The first part of the book helps us understand what encouragement is. The authors describe encouragement as “the careful selection of words that are intended to influence another person meaningfully toward increased godliness” or “the kind of expression that helps someone want to be a better Christian, even when life is rough.” By God’s grace, we can all do this. “We must apply our mental energies to the job of understanding precisely how we can perform this important work for each other.”

To engage in encouragement, we must go deeper than shallow words, and we must avoid death words. We must push beyond surface community to biblical community, avoiding total openness (tactlessly expressing all of our feelings) and instead working toward total commitment (helping to reduce the fear of others, and working to meet their needs). This requires that we “never fully abandon ourselves to another human being, nor ever wholly depend on someone else to minister to us.” We must develop character through the inevitable loneliness we’ll feel, and “abandon ourselves completely to God, depending on him to minister to us.” We must learn not to repress or express all of our feelings, but to acknowledge and appropriately express them according to the goal of ministry.

The Process of Encouragement

The second half of the book describes the process of encouragement. The greatest encouragement takes place when we’re motivated to speak words directed at someone’s fear or struggle in the context of genuine relationship. “Encouragement is not a technique to be mastered; it is a sensitivity to people and a confidence in God that must be nourished and demonstrated.”

We face opportunities to encourage whenever we meet with other Christians. We must continually remind ourselves of our goal to encourage, and learn to recognize potential needs.

We encourage as we accept others as they’re vulnerable with us, as we work to understand others rather than offer advice, and as we speak words that promote an awareness of a person’s value. The authors offer helpful guidelines on how to speak words and communicate nonverbally in ways that encourage.

The book concludes with a vision of churches becoming restoring communities, relating to each other the way that the three persons of the Trinity relate to each other. “Encourage one another,” they conclude. “The days are evil. The opportunities are great. The power is available.”

We Need This Book

I read this book thirty years ago. I can’t think of a time we’ve needed its message more. This book deserves to be read by every pastor, and would make a great small group study too.

Everyone needs encouragement. If you want to learn to speak words that influence people toward godliness in challenging times, this book will give you biblical, practical counsel. Read it and apply it for your own joy, and for the impact you’ll have on the lives of others.

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