Where Things Went Wrong (Genesis 3)

Big Idea: Sin, not God’s original design, has damaged the relationship between the sexes.

Last summer, we were camping about half an hour east of North Bay when our car broke down. It really broke down. It was almost un-drivable.

We faced three issues:

• First, the immediate issue: how to get the vehicle home.
• Second, diagnosing the problem, because you have to know what you are trying to fix.
• Third, actually getting it fixed.

We solved the first issue. It involved God answering prayer and some questionable driving decisions that turned out fine. But diagnosing the problem was a bit harder. We’re not mechanics, so we guessed wrong what the issue might be. But we’re not the only one. Our mechanic guessed wrong and ordered the wrong part, which we still ended up paying for, but in the end we got what we wanted. All three issues were solved. We got the vehicle home. We finally diagnosed the problem accurately. And we got it fixed at a price we could afford.

I’m here to tell you that the same three issues apply to our discussion of gender.

• First, we face immediate issues. These are the real issues that we face every day: questions of singleness and marriage, gender roles and differences, tensions between the genders, and other pressing issues.
• But then we face the challenge of diagnosing the problems. What’s underneath the immediate issues? This is important, because if we make the wrong diagnosis, we won’t solve the problem.
• And then we actually have to take the step of getting the issue solved.

Today, I want to focus on the second stage. I want to focus on diagnosing the problem that causes many of the issues between the genders. What’s behind all the tensions between men and women — societal issues like harassment, stereotypes, and double standards? Closer to home, what makes it so hard sometimes for men and women to get along?

We’ve got to come to an accurate diagnosis of the problem if we’re going to come up with the solution.

The Wrong Diagnosis

Here’s why I think this is so important. I think we often tend to misdiagnose the problem. We think and act as if the problem is the difference between the genders, which is why we often find ourselves trying to either erase the differences between men and women, or to devalue one gender or the other. There are few more issues that get more heated than this one. As one person points out, "Few topics have generated such heat or confusion as the 21st-century debates over sex, gender and male-female relations."

Because we get the diagnosis wrong, we also get the cure wrong.

For instance, you’ve heard the term toxic masculinity. There is such a thing as toxic masculinity. But it would be easy to think that the problem is masculinity itself. Masculinity is good! God came up with the idea. I love what one author writes: “Men become dangerous not because their masculinity is toxic but because their humanity is … In short, the answer is not to weaken men, but to help them grow stronger.” The problem isn’t masculinity in itself; the problem is sin. If we misdiagnose the problem, we’ll misdiagnose the solution.

In other words, the problem isn’t what we think it is. Last week we saw that God’s original design for men and women is good — not just good but very good. We’ve seen looked at Genesis 1 and 2 and have seen that men and women have dignity and differences that are designed for our good and our joy:

• Men and women have dignity — Both genders are made in the image of God. They’re equal in personhood and importance, and and it takes both genders to represent God in this world.
• Men and women have differences — Eve was created both alike and different from Adam. They correspond to each other. Men and women have both similarities and profound differences, and yet those differences are meant to be a source of joy.

Many of our problems today is because we let go of one of those truths: dignity or differences. We have to hold both together. Both men and women have dignity, but men and women also have differences. If we let go of the dignity of each gender, or ignore the differences between the genders, we will go wrong.

The problem is not God’s design of men and women. That is a very good thing. If we think that erasing the differences is the solution to restoring dignity to both genders, then we’ve misdiagnosed the problem and we’ll come up with the wrong solution.

We need to hold on to the dignity of both men and women and the differences between us. The problem doesn’t lie in our differences; the problem is elsewhere.

The Real Problem

Genesis 3 tells us what the real issue is.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. (Genesis 3:1-7)

I want to make two observations.

The problem began with the craftiness of our enemy, not with God’s design.

You find a talking serpent. Revelation identifies the snake as “that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan” (Revelation 12:9). And what did that serpent do? He tempted the first couple to question God’s word and seize something that didn’t belong to them yet. He provoked them to distrust God and to decide for themselves what’s right and wrong. Rather than submitting to God, they try to take God’s place. As Spurgeon put it, they struck a match and set the world on fire with sin.

Where did things go wrong between the genders? Not with God’s original design. God’s original design for men and women was good — not just good but very good. We dare not ignore the dignity of both men and women or eliminate the differences between them, because those differences are good. We have to look at where the problem began, and that isn’t with God but with our ancient enemy the devil. He introduced sin into the world, and as we’re going to see, sin affected the relationship between men and women.

Second observation:

Satan loves to exploit our differences against us.

In Genesis 3, the man and the woman are different. Those differences are good, but Satan loves to exploit them.

Notice that the serpent spoke to Eve. What’s interesting is that he spoke to her in the second person plural. In other words, Adam’s presence is implied, but he was quiet. In fact, verse 6 says that Adam was with her. Adam sat back and passively watched the whole thing happen.

This is strange, because one of the differences between the man and the woman is that God seemed to give Adam the role of leading. You see this in a number of ways:

• The creation order
• The fact that Eve was created as a helper
• The fact that Adam named Eve
• The fact that Adam was given tasks before Eve was created
• The physical differences between men and women — As Kevin DeYoung observes, “The man, endowed with greater biological strength, is fitted especially for tilling the soil and taming the garden, while the woman, possessing within her the capacity to cultivate new life, is fitted especially for filling the earth and tending to the communal aspects of the garden.”
• The biblical teaching that Adam, not Eve, represented the human race

It’s hard to think about leadership before sin. We think leadership means one is better or that the one who isn’t leader is diminished somehow. But this kind of leadership doesn’t imply superiority; it implies responsibility and a duty to care. It doesn’t mean that Eve was in any way inferior. I think of this when I watch good dancers: in every dance couple, one takes the lead and the other follows, but the dance is beautiful and makes both of them look good.

God made Adam to take responsibility, to, as Brant Hansen says, be a humble, consistent, dedicated keeper of the garden. He didn’t create Adam to be passive or harshly dominant. God created Adam to bless, and for Adam and Eve to work together as Adam served through by taking initiative.

But Satan went after that. As Kent Hughes says, “Everything was upside-down. Eve followed the snake, Adam followed Eve, and no one followed God.”

Both sin, but their sins are different. Victor Hamilton observes, “Hers is a sin of initiative. His is a sin of acquiescence.” Bryan Chapell notes, “Eve’s sin was not naïveté but a willful attempt to overthrow the creation order.”

Part of Satan’s design is to exploit our differences, bringing disharmony between them. Both fail. Eve fails because she takes initiative in an unhelpful way; Adam fails because he abdicates his responsibility and is passive in an unhelpful way. Both are judged.

As Ray Ortlund notes, "The wife acting as the head, but not a wise head, and the husband acting as the helper, but not a wise helper — it was the breakdown of marriage that broke everything."

Where did things go wrong? Things didn’t go wrong with our gender differences. Our gender differences are good. Things went wrong when sin entered the world. Sin entered the world when there was a breakdown in how men and women are designed to work together. God designed Adam to lead Eve in following God, but instead he passively followed Eve in distrusting God. Part of Satan’s design for our destruction was attacking our design as men and as women.

The problem isn’t our differences. The problem, simply put, is sin. That is the real problem.

The Effects of Sin

The effects of sin are catastrophic. Things fell apart after the Fall. What was intended to be beautiful became a battleground (Genesis 3:12, 16). Sin distorted one of God’s greatest gifts to us, and we’ve been living with the consequences ever since. Not only does Adam blameshift and throw Eve under the bus, but God describes the effects of their sin.

The results are devastating.

Women experience the effects of sin in two areas.

To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.”
(Genesis 3:16)

God says women will experience the consequences of sin in two areas:

• Childbearing
• Her relationship with her husband

One of the obvious differences between men and women is that women have the unique ability to bear children. It’s amazing. But now, this miracle and gift comes with pain and suffering. But that’s not all.

Her relationship with her husband has now changed. There’s a lot of discussion over how to translate the last part of verse 16, but I think what it describes is a power struggle between men and women. Instead of a beautiful dance, it’s an ugly fight. The NET Bible gets it right: “You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.” We now live in a state of conflict and power struggle between men and women instead of what it was designed to be.

And then there’s men.

Men experience the effects of sin in two areas.

We’ve already looked at the first. Instead of leading in a way that blesses and protects his wife, the man is now prone to dominating her. But his work of subduing the world is also more difficult because of thorns and thistles.

And to Adam he said,,
“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you;
in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
and you shall eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”
(Genesis 3:17-19)

In short, the things that are meant to bring blessing and joy — marriage, having children, and work — are instead sources of conflict and difficulty. Everything has been ruined by sin, including the relationship that men and women are supposed to enjoy.

Here’s what I’m trying to say today: sin, not God’s original design, has damaged the relationship between the sexes. “God designed sexual difference for one another; sin takes sexual difference and makes it opposed to one another” (DeYoung). What God intended as good has instead become something that Satan uses against us.

The Solution

So what’s the solution? Two things.

First, we need to be aware of how Satan will continue to exploit our differences.

Satan loves passive men who fail to take initiative to bless others. Satan loves when men don’t live spiritually healthy lives, who don’t use their strength to care for those around them. Satan loves when we think men are the problem rather than thinking we need to strengthen men to be godly.

Satan loves when women are devalued and mistreated and ignored. Satan loves when we forget the dignity of women. But Satan also loves when we think that godly masculinity is a bad thing, or when we blur the differences between men and women.

We need men who are, as Brant Hansen writes, “keepers and protectors in our spheres of influence, whatever and wherever they are.” We need them to say, “Adam didn’t do the job. But with whatever I have, I’m going to do it. I have a mission, and I accept it.”

The effects of Genesis 3 are still real. We need to be on guard against the ways that Satan tries to exploit our differences. We are not ignorant of his schemes. One of the best ways to do this is to be aware of his tactics, and to keep coming back to both the dignity of both genders and the differences. We’ve got to hold on to both.

Second, we need the effects of sin to be undone.

If the problem isn’t ultimately one of gender but one of sin, we need someone who can help us with our sin problem. His name is Jesus. Jesus is a man unlike any man. He was the only man to ever live without sin. There was no toxic masculinity about him. He valued women and treated them with dignity. They felt safe around him.

And he used his strength to serve, to give up his life for you and for me. He welcomes sinners to come to him, and he changes them. He helps transform men so they’re not passive or harsh, and he helps transform women who love being women. He creates a community in which both men and women treat each other with dignity. And he creates marriages in which women submit to the loving, godly, self-sacrificial leadership of their husbands. He creates men who, as Brant Hansen says, champion the weak and vulnerable, use whatever strength they have to safeguard others and provide places for others to thrive.

Sin, not God’s original design, has damaged the relationship between the sexes — and that’s just the problem that the gospel solves. If you get the diagnosis wrong, you get the solution wrong. So let’s focus on the real problem, and let’s thank God for the gospel that transforms us and solves that problem.